Dear 2019
Dear 2019,
By: Nicki Patel | 2.16.19
You have been a bittersweet beeeach thus far and it ends now!
To my amazing, badass tribe of women and men that have stuck around, I am sorry for being a little MIA.
Yall are actually the reason I am back.
You see, 2018 was a trial, error, learn, start over, and repeat kind of year. It went down totally different than I had envisioned and was expecting.
With my mini break, I hoped to recoup what I ‘lost’ in myself and the brand as I kept chuggin’ along.
But the funny (or not so funny) thing about lose is we can’t reverse it or fix it. It happened and is in the past. It is how we react that changes the course of the future.
It is only natural to get caught up in the ‘why’ or ‘why me,’ but dwelling in it consumes us, and quite frankly, consumed me.
Transparency is one my favorite words, and I apply it as much to my own life as I do to m+n. So let’s get real.
I began 2019 with the worst explosion of hives I have ever experienced in my life and my body had completely wrecked havoc while living under my parent’s roof with Milo; panicking, stressed, and out of this world lost in what I was doing and if it mattered.
I never thought in a million years I would be back to the point of starting over yet again, but here I was.
I was terrified and living in so much fear of making or taking any actions towards fixing what I felt.
As I went down the dark tunnel of social media, my fear got worse, and it literally tore me down.
The fear turned into self-doubt in my self-worth and purpose. I felt like an imposter. Am I worthy of being a designer or having my own brand? What do I have to offer the world? What do I know? What am I trying to do? Am I even making a difference?
I let my thoughts take over me because that’s just being human, right? Wrong.
This is where my m+n tribe came in. Yall reminded me that what I am doing does matter, what I am creating and putting out in the world is loved, and that I do have a voice that is worthy of being heard.
I am definitely still a work in progress, but who isn’t?
I began to remind myself daily my why (even if it isn’t sticking that day); not why am I even trying, but why did I create m+n, why am I so passionate about sustainability + ethical fashion, why did this journey begin? And I feel it, breathe it in, and am working on releasing it into the world.
I want to inspire and empower women and men to fight for their dreams – I truly do believe no dream is too big, no passion is too small, and no routine is unbreakable. I had to start over, clean slate at only 25, and again at 26. It is hard, trust me I know, but don’t let that fear consume you. When it feels like it is, pause and remember your why. And your why could be anything!
I hope that what I design will leave a positive impact on people, the planet, and animals because I care about our future. I hope that my pieces will light up your day and last for years and generations beyond ours.
Don’t ever be afraid to conquer your fears and take a leap of faith because you don’t know where it will take you. Never give up on yourself because you are a strong, fierce human and if things go south, you will get back up again. And always, always live a life of color. You deserve every bit of it and more. I will be here with you, every step of the way. <3
Leave a comment below with your why! I can’t wait to read your comments! Xo